(Editor’s Note: When I woke up this morning I found this written on my computer. I fell asleep trying to think of a blog post for today so I decided to just roll with what was written here.)
A Day In The Life Of Thor
Almost two years ago I met these humans for the first time. It was just in time too. It was getting too noisy in that shelter. There was an insane beagle mixed with a little of the devil next to me that would not leave me alone. It kept jumping up and barking at me. I could hardly get any sleep. These three humans (one big and two much smaller) came to see me. They took me outside and watched me run around this small enclosure for a while. They all huddled and then told the man who was in charge of me something. From there it was a whirlwind. They put me in the back of his moving vehicle. I was way in the back with the two smaller humans in the area in front of me, and the bigger man way up front moving a circle around that seemed to keep us from slamming into everything. I decided this wouldn’t do, and I jumped in between the two girls. They seemed to really like this. I decided to do a little more slapstick to see if they would laugh. I tried to jump onto the man’s lap, but he wouldn’t let me. The girls really seemed to like this. I decided to just hang out with the two laughing girls in the backseat.
When they took me into the house I immediately noticed how quiet it was. This was not at all like the shelter with darks barking all of the time. Occasionally the humans make some racket, but I just ask to go outside where it is quiet. From square one I knew that I had a good situation. I decided to test the large human right away. I jumped up on the couch and laid down. He actually let me do it! It was amazing! After sleeping on a small pad on top of a concrete floor for a few weeks I was in Heaven! I was really hungry and they seemed to know this. They filled a bowl up with food for me to eat. I didn’t want them to think that I was that easy though so I left it alone. For the whole time that they had me they would feed me with this bowl on the floor. I could have eaten food right off of the counter and it would have been easier for everyone. In fact over the years I have stolen plenty of the food right off of the counter. I always liked it when the mother of the house cooked. She was a much better cook than the father. His food tasted like something that I would have been fed at the pound. I think that I need a nap. Give me an hour or so and then I will be back.
Okay I am back. Quickly on day one I realized just how easy I had it. I had the run of this big house! The best part was when they opened the door. I had a huge backyard to run around in! Truth be told I would rather have run around the entire neighborhood. When an unsuspecting meter person would open the gate I would do just that. I would run and run and laugh as the humans tried to keep up with me. It was a fun game that I always loved to play. They started catching onto my game quickly though, and I didn’t have as many chances to run anymore. If I had one though I would take it!
You might think that a big backyard is all good, but it has a downside. It is just added ground to patrol. My shifts were spread out sporadically through the day. As I think about it now I realize there might be some rabbits in the front yard. My job is to bark and them as loud as I can even though they don’t move a muscle. Let me look over the fence and check…
Mission accomplished! I barked so loud at those rabbits that I got other dogs in the neighborhood to bark as well. The rabbits didn’t run away, but I like to think that they were too scared to even move. It did look like they just kept eating though, but maybe that was stress eating as I scared them so much. I like to put the fear of Thor into everything that comes near my backyard. Birds so high you can barely tell they were birds would get a few barks. This is Thor’s backyard, and nothing can scare me…wait was that lightning! Okay maybe one thing. I am going to hide under the bed until this thing blows over. I will finish up when I get back.
Okay that was scary. It stormed forever! I am named after the God of thunder, but I have grown to hate the sound. When I first moved in with the humans I would run outside during storms and jump and try and catch the lightning. That all changed one day for some reason. I can’t remember that day very well so it is a mystery to me. Ever since then though I have hated the lightning and the thunder. Under the bed is the most sensible place to be when that happens.
Hold on, I think I see something outside…
Nevermind, it was probably nothing. Where was I? Oh Yeah I was going to tell you about my typical day. It really is rough being the head of security for a house in the city, but I do my best. Sometimes it means sleepless nights, but it all is part of the job. I try and go to bed with the humans, but just as I am ready to fall asleep I remember something that the little one left out. She always leaves a little food out, and I have always assumed it is just for me. I wait until the humans make their sleeping noises, and I go out to find the food. This is the quietest that I will ever move through the house. I will find a spot on a bed with a sleeping human (or humans) at this point and finally get some sleep. I only nap for about five hours a day so I really need my sleep at night. When the humans start to wake up I immediately run to my bowl. You never know when they may have left some human food in it. First thing in the morning that is rare though so I ask to go outside. With nothing good to eat inside I go outside to see what I can scrounge up.
Sometimes I can find something really good like a bird or a den of rabbits to eat. Most of the time though I have to do one of the things that the humans hate, but I love. See my poo tastes so good. I like to eat it whenever I can. The father should love me as he has less to pick up. After finding something to eat I go over to the area where the drain water forms. This water from the little pipe is better than anything they can drink from those fancy bottles. I always like to keep a little there so I just sip from it. You have to save some for later. After finding a bite to eat and something to drink I think it is my job to wake up the rest of the neighborhood. I will bark and bark until someone from the house tells me to be quiet. If I can’t see them though I still bark until they come out to find me. They don’t think this is as funny when it is cold outside. From there I go back inside to find somewhere to lay down. I have already spent a lot of energy today, and it is already time for a nap. I will usually find a spot right where they are getting ready and lay down. This way they have to pay attention to me. Sometimes they do not though and I make them trip. Those are the best days!
When they have all left the house I go around again trying to find something that they forgot to put away. Once I ate an entire box of cookies! At first I had so much energy, but eventually I fell asleep. When the humans start coming home I know that I must appear to be back on guard. I have slept most of the day so far so I have to bark a little extra at every noise to let them know that I am on the job. My favorite part of the day is the late afternoon. A man will come dressed differently sometimes with boxes for the humans. I love to bark at this man. They drive away so fast when I do! It is too funny. When the humans make their meals they spend so much time doing so. When they make my meal they just throw some food in a bowl. I have found that if I can hold out and not touch my food they will pity me and give me some of there food. When they go to sleep at night I will eat the rest of my food. This little trick works every time. After they eat I try and find somewhere to get a little shut eye in. Eating sure makes me tired.
Now when I wake up comes the best part of the night. As the big ball of fire in the sky starts to go away the animals really come out. They really get me going! I will bark and bark until someone finally lets me outside. From there I can spend hours chasing anything that moves! I usually don’t catch anything so when I come in I find the easy prey. The father is usually about ready for bed at this time. Just as he is winding down I like to start to get him to play with me. I know just where to nibble on him to get him down on the floor with me. I usually let him win, but only so that he feels good about himself and he will try again tomorrow. Now that I have played I get a quick nap in while they all go to bed. I have a lot to do while they are asleep after all. Tonight I thought that I would write for the human a little. I will eventually go to sleep and start this whole process over. Before I do though I noticed the father left a sock on the floor. That looks like a good chew toy!